I have a fear of birds. Not a real fear like some people I know, but I have a fear of being pooped on. So let me correct myself. I don't have a fear of birds, I have a fear of bird poop dropping out of the sky and splattering on my shaved head or trying to substitute itself for the new thing in natural face moisturizers.
This topic really hits close to home because in the last few months, three of my friends have been pooped on. Ryan was hit while kicking it at the park during a bbq. We were just catching up on things and then the next thing you know his plain white tee wasn't so plain anymore. Nastee! Good thing he rolls with extra shirts. No less than two weeks after the first bombing, the homies Vince and Brian got dropped on while we were cruisin the streets of the LA Garment District. Vince got hit on his black fitted rain stopper, and Brian caught some crap on his black Creative Rec kicks. Two in one day? Tragic!
This dramatic intro was written so that you can see how courageous I was a few days ago. I mean, I could be the next victim on the birdie hit list. So while I was shootin some photos of my niece and nephew on the beach, this crazy family rolled up with wonderbread bags and created a feeding frenzy of vicious seagulls just a few meters away from where I was. Even though I was horrified, I manned up, ran over to the crazy family and started snapping away. My first question to them was, "Did you get pooped on yet?" Sure enough, none of the bird feeding family members got pooped on. What the heck?
Go figure. You mind your own business, and birds just feel free to use your head as a toilet. You attract a hundred hungry birds with $2 bread and walk out unblemished. It makes you think....do these birds have a real agenda? They must know what they're doin. Maybe we should "Feed the Birds" and ignore all the warning signs posted in order to keep the peace. I too, got out from under the bird umbrella nice and clean, but I'm still gonna watch my back when I see birds flyin overhead.
To the crazy bird feeding family, it was nice to meet you. If you would like to see more photos of your feeding adventures, shoot me an email I'll send more photos to ya. I'm glad you guys got out of there without getting shot! hello@neensmarketing.com
